A Reason to Move
by chancetofly24
Summary: JackKate, postHunting Party. Jack confronts his feelings about Kate and they make up. Please R&R!


He walks along the beach, the cool air providing just enough resistance for him to be reminded of what he is up against. The ocean is calm and clear, the color of the sky at dusk, before the blanket of stars is pulled in to cover the world. The waves lap gently against his feet, his pant legs rolled up to feel the salty spray against his ankles.

His mind wanders to her, always her. Her dark brown hair cascading down her shoulders, him yearning to bury his hand in the mass of curls at the base of her neck, tilting her face up to the sunshine she hasn't let in for so long. And her eyes – the hazel eyes tinted with gold that seemed to use their beauty for both charm and disguise, acting as a barrier to the access of any thoughts that couldn't be passed off as casual or uncalculated. For the first time in his life, he has felt defenseless around someone. Back home, he could use his surgical instruments as spears and torches in his battles, using them for leverage and support. But on this deserted island, with no tools to arm himself against his intense vulnerability that no one has truly seen, he is forced to face her with all that he can bring to the table - himself. And that terrifies him, makes him wonder why he ever got involved with someone who could hurt him so much, someone who could run and leave everything behind her as easily as he could suture someone's wounds.

Seeing her with her defenses down and a gun to her neck, he had been so scared he couldn't breathe. His mind had been so clouded by the overwhelming fear that he had hardly gotten out the words in time to have her released and go spiraling into the arms of the one man whose life he didn't feel compelled to save. He couldn't even face her afterwards – to see the scars that were inevitably sketched all over her body, a paint-by-the-numbers gone horribly wrong. As soon as she said his name, he felt his walls being built again, the walls to a fortress so deep and mighty that few had the power to penetrate. But she did.

So he shut her out completely, dismissing her apology, ignoring her pleading looks and the persistent ache of emptiness in his heart. It was easier for both of them, he reasoned, though he knew that he was just lying to himself and hurting her in the process. But things had gone too far now to be erased, to simply be a blemish on an otherwise blank sheet.

Yet, it nagged at him, tore at him, until he felt his chest constricting and wondered if he was suffocating, if he would ever be able to breathe clearly when not around her. Filling his lungs with the cool, fresh salt water, he rubs a hand absently over his softly cropped hair. He had never been good at letting go – his father constantly reminded him of that – but commitment, it was the one thing he had to offer. Letting Kate go wasn't an option – he had to fight for her, show her how passionately he felt, how intensely.

She had been a part of him ever since the day she sewed him up and sewed a little bit of her inside him, under the cover of standard black stitches, leaving criss-crossed scars on his taut, tanned skin. He had pulled away from her delicate, soft fingers as soon as he had the chance, daring himself to walk away from what he knew would only be another chance to fix. But it wasn't about that anymore, it was something more. She made him want to stay, to fight his own overwhelming urges to run from everything, everyone. He wanted to stay, for her – he needed to be the one to convince her to stop running, but not so that he could fix her, so he could love her.

As he slowly veers off into the jungle, the grains of sand leaving a trail behind him, he knows without even thinking where his feet are leading him. No matter where she is, no matter what time of the day, his feet lead him to her, as if her footprints mark his heart with a code only his subconscious understands.

Reaching the hatch, he pauses for a moment before opening it and stepping inside, allowing the coolness of being underground envelope him, allowing him to take a deep breath before stepping forward, out of the shadows. His footsteps barely resonate on the concrete floor as he makes his way through the rooms, surprised the sound of his heartbeat isn't echoing for all to hear. He sees her before she notices him – sitting on one of the outdated couches, looking at record sleeves. She browses through a few, tossing the discarded ones on the floor with a loud slap, before she sees a title that makes her eyes brighten. Standing, she removes the record from the sleeve, placing it on the player and letting the needle drop gently as she sits on the floor again.

The song reverberates through his skull, but he doesn't hear a single word, a single note of the melody. He is entranced by her – seeing her so peaceful, eyes closed, humming along to the music and slightly swaying. He leans against the door frame, watching with a small smile on his face. It's these moments, not the bickering in the jungle, that define them. The times when each is caught off-guard, showing who they really are and not hiding when the other discovers it. He thinks back to when he told her about his father dying, the look of genuine concern etched across her face, mixed with appreciation that he had finally opened up about something.

Opening her eyes dreamily, she jumps a bit, startled to see someone else in the hatch, but her eyes glaze over as soon as they meet his – putting up the barriers he had grown so accustomed to seeing reflected in her eyes the past few days. She says something, he can see her lips moving, but he hardly hears her as he lifts himself from the wood and makes his way over to her. Her look only hardens as he gets closer, but he doesn't let her scathing stare make him falter. This is his future, his opportunity. This is the now that he has been waiting for, been hoping for. He reaches her, offering his hand down to pull her up.

Glancing up at him with disbelieving eyes, she slowly extends her own arm, catching his hand in her own and meeting his eyes before pulling herself to her feet. She shifts uncomfortably and glances around, not sure what to say in the silence that follows. Not giving her much chance to ponder her next move, he entwines his fingers with hers in the hand that he's already holding, lifting it up to rest near his shoulder, while he gently places his other hand on the small of her back, pressing her close to him. Turning her chin up to meet his eyes, her eyes dance questioningly across his before he quietly whispers, "Dance with me, Kate."

Closing her eyes and resting her forehead against his chin, they begin to move in slow circles, engulfed in the music with neither wanting to speak and ruin this delicate moment. Encased in his own thoughts, the music still echoing silently through his body, he feels warm breath against his ear as she shifts against him. The words to the song finally bestow themselves to him as he hears her half-whisper, half-sing in his ear, "My love, my darling, I've hungered for your touch… Are you still mine? I need your love…" She trails off, letting herself sink once again into the soothing music of the song and his arm encircled around her, holding her tightly as if he was afraid she would run again.

The song quietly fades, leaving the needle to skip in the silence as they still move in fluid motions around each other, within each other. Lifting her head from his shoulder, she looks into his eyes and stops, squeezing his hand before moving both around his neck, as his travel down to grasp her waist. She reaches up and places a soft kiss on his lips, pulling back only to rest her forehead against his, their eyes searching each others'.

"Why won't you let me love you?" he whispers, his eyes pleading with hers, trying to convince her to stay with him forever.

"Jack…" she trails off, her eyes slowly filling with tears she had kept bottled inside for so long, guarded by invisible monsters, ready to pounce at anyone who got so close that they were in danger of being allowed entry. She looks away, furiously blinking the hot liquid stinging her eyes.

"Kate, please… please, just let me try," he begs, touching her chin with his hand and moving it towards him so he can see into her eyes. "I know this is hard for you, letting people in, and I can't promise you that I won't hurt you. But I'll never stop loving you – not here, not back home, not anywhere. Can't you try to believe that, Kate?"

She leans into his hand, pressing her eyes shut as rivers run down her cheeks, pooling into the base of his hand. She opens her eyes once again, finding his searching hers, waiting for her answer. Slowly, she nods, a silent affirmation for what she doesn't have the words to express.

He smiles, almost imperceptibly, and leans over to turn on the record again before capturing her lips once again with his own. Smiling through her tears, she kisses him back with everything she wants to say, everything she feels for him. They break away and he kisses her forehead before pressing his temple to hers, needing to be as close to her as possible.

"I won't run this time," she says quietly in his ear, "Promise."

He smiles against her temple, pulling her closer to his body as she kisses beneath his ear and rests her cheek against his shoulder. They both fall into their previous, easy rhythm, content with the circumstances and each others' company, each satisfied to know that in this moment, everything is perfect.


End file.
